Dave and Thomas Daily Timekillers » sarah palin

Palin’s Breath

dangerdave — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 23:35:30 +0000

Creepy? Cool? Odd? Here is a video of Sarah Palin breathing taken from her speech about the attacks in Arizona and on her. Like any good politician, it’s someone else’s fault but it’s also one of her best speeches ever.

Goodbye 2009 and Good Riddance

dangerdave — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 05:22:25 +0000

One of the craziest years on our books is over. Finally. Someone tap 2009 on the shoulder because it’s time to come out of the game. As the world gathers this week to celebrate the beginning of the new decade we are wondering about the status of our world.

Will our economy bounce back? Will vampire movies still be run into the ground? Will Tiger Woods recover? These are just some of the things on our mind as we take a look back at some of the best and worst of 2009 and reflect.

Maybe it’s the moonshine, but we’re feeling a little nostalgic.

We’d like to point out that the movie 2010 with Roy Scheider was full of crap. We are no where near the ability to cruise around the moons of Jupiter much less have crazy-ass computers going on killing sprees or have the technology to give John Lithgow a full head of hair.

It’s all a crock!

Since we can’t go into space or fly around the city in our hovercar or personal jet pack, we are forced to stay here on Earth and take the best that society has to offer. And by society we mean the Internet. Pop culture had a big year in 2009 and here’s some of the highlights over the last 12 months.

December 2009: Japanese Nurse Prank

November 2009: And the Tiger Woods Scandal Begins

October 2009: Five Reasons Chicago Was Rejected For 2016 Olympic Games

September 2009: Rejected Titles of Sarah Palins New Book

August 2009: From Hell: Christian-Newsom Murder Trial Begins In Knoxville

July 2009: Why is Captain Kirk Climbing a Mountain?

June 2009: 5 Best Zach Galifianakis Moments

May 2009: Ferris Bueller Fight Club Theory: You Sir Just Blew My Mind

April 2009: Great Japanese Fluorescent Light Fights

March 2009: Padma Lakshmi Sexy Hardee’s Burger Commercial

February 2009: Lily Allen Performing in Blue Lingerie

January 2009: Johnny Knoxville detained for inert grenade at airport

Sarah Palin Booksigning Brings Out The Best of People

dangerdave — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:05:25 +0000

One of the craziest things about politics is how much people get into it but forget the little part about looking up facts. You can make a video showcasing nutjobs and the uninformed about any political candidate but there’s just something about the Sarah Palin folks.

It’s refreshing to know at least there are some other people out there a little less informed than Palin. Here’s a nice mix of folk at the Sarah Palin book signing showcasing why they skipped the local Mensa meeting to get an autograph.

On November 20, 2009, at a Borders bookstore in Columbus, Ohio, Sarah Palin held a book signing event in support of “Going Rogue”. Palin’s supporters wanted her to run for the presidency, but they weren’t exactly sure what she’d do as president. Short on specifics, most of them were uncertain what her policy positions are. They just felt that they liked her. She’s “real”. And that the solution to all of our country’s problems—health care, energy, the deficit, unemployment, and the economy—was to cut taxes and lower spending, and Palin, they said, would solve them by doing just that.

Rejected Titles of Sarah Palins New Book

dangerdave — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:00:26 +0000

Everyone hopes to leave behind a legacy. They want to be remembered after their passing for generations to come. This method is currently the only feasible way to immortality until those lazy scientists figure out how to successfully unfreeze our frozen heads and put them on viable bodies.

So, for now we are stuck with the legacy method. And with society’s attention span more fleeting than ever some people try harder to embellish their legacy to get attention. And if that person is cunning enough they may figure out how to push the media’s buttons in just the right way to stay current in the news.

You Betcha!

That’s where our favorite train wreck, Sarah Palin, comes into play. We actually think Palin is one of the best things to happen to the Internet this decade and we were tickled to learn the gun toting soccer mom is staying fresh in current events with a new book that’s due to hit book stores on November 17th, just in time for a great Thanksgiving dinner.

As we take a look inside the literary genius of Sarah Palin (which we heard was ghost written by the writing duo of Sean Hannity and Gary Busey), we found out that there were some working titles for this literary gem that did not make the cut.

Palin’s book is officially being called “Going Rouge: An American’s Life” which is just an awesome title. As we imagine the movie rights being auctioned off to Michael Bay in the coming months we ponder some of the titles that almoster were…

Twitter to Quiter: From Presidency to the Unemployment Line
Short Bus to the Presidency
Palindrome: Rise To Vote, Sir! [intro by Fred Thompson]
The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories [title already taken]
Palintology: A Republican Guide to Integrity and Humility in Politics
The Sarah Palin Pocket Atlas
I Am Not Tina Fey!
The Maverick’s Guide to Shotgun Weddings and Family Values [intro by David Letterman]
Bridge to Nowhere: Make 15 Minutes of Fame Last Forever!
Heartbeat: How Vice President Palin Came So Close

William Shatner Reads Sarah Palin Tweets

dangerdave — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 02:24:37 +0000

William Shatner reads the Sarah Palin Tweets. The random rambling of the wildly insane and captivating ex-Governor of Alaska are red in a nice poetry style William “Mountain Lover” Shatner.

William Shatner Sarah Palin Spoof

dangerdave — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:35:56 +0000

Sarah Palin, the single greatest train wreck to take over the Internet, is being made fun of here on the Tonight Show by master thespian William Shatner.

Sarah Palin gives her resignation speech in the form of a poem and the Shat does his version. We like Shat’s better.

After this skit, Shatner went out into the woods and made love to a mountain. He’s a true man’s man!

Auto-Tuned the News 6 with Michael Jackson

dangerdave — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 19:18:27 +0000

Auto-Tune is a phase vocoder to correct pitch in vocal and instrumental performances. It is used to disguise inaccuracies and mistakes, and has allowed many artists to produce more precisely tuned recordings. It is the staple of pop music today. Mostly if you are a hot blond under the age of 25.

This video is about current news and is auto-tuned into a song to talk about Michael Jackson, Sarah Palin, and various problems in the World.

Random Bonnaroo Garbage

dangerdave — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:12:24 +0000

Ahhh….Bonnaroo weekend. That time of year when everyone’s inner-hippie pops out and gets high to the music. This year’s festival has started with a lineup including Bruce Springsteen, Phish, and the Beastie Boys. A few other bands are supposed to show up, too.

A weekend treat for you all. The cult comedy “Three O’Clock High!” So grab a bag of Cheetos and sit back for a great 80’s flick that features the nerd vs. the bulley. Great entertainment and a nice way to not work for 2 hours.

What? Bar In Chicago Has Nude Painting of Sarah Palin

dangerdave — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:20:25 +0000

A Chicago bar has brought the reality of seeing Sarah Palin Nude to millions of horny Internet freaks. The Old Town Ale House in Chicago in known for their murals on their wall and they have gathered a lot of attention from their most recent work of art, the nude painting of Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin stands naked holding a machine gun on top of a Polar Bear skin to the amusement of bar patrons. Don’t worry, she’s not the only naked chick up there. The walls of the bar are decorated with lots of similar artwork. Sounds like a cool place to visit. Plus it’s still not as tacky as visiting TGIF’s!