Your first Carstache feels like your first kiss, cold beer, snow cone, and slow dance. It’s glorious!

It just feels good. It feels powerful. Your car has been naked until now.

For the man that has everything, except facial hair for his car, the Carstache is the ultimate gift.  And yes, it is a real product you can buy!

Some stories just write the jokes themselves:

A Balinese teenager caught in the act of intercourse with a cow passed out on Friday when he was forced to marry the animal in a ceremony witnessed by hundreds of curious onlookers.

As the Jakarta Globe reported earlier in the day, Ngurah Alit, 18, an unemployed youth from the seaside village of Yeh Embang in Jembrana, was caught stark naked positioned behind the cow in a rice paddy field.

In his defense, Alit admitted to the act of bestiality but claimed the cow, which he believed was a young and beautiful woman, had wooed him with flattering compliments.

As part of a Pecaruan ritual, a ceremony to cleanse the village of the unholy act of a man mating with a cow, Alit was forced to “marry” the animal.

Know a Apple Computer fanboy or girl who loves their device, such as their iPhone or MacBook, so much that nothing else in the world matters?

Well, you’re in luck.  For those people that spend so much of their time devoted to Apple products that you’re certain they are having ‘relations’ with it late at night you can now push them in the right direction toward human contact.

Imagine a world of brushed metal and Mini Coopers playing Coldplay  on their radios and you have Cupidtino, the Apple fan-based dating site.  The name is a play on the words Cupid and Cupertino, the city in California where Apple is based. But if you had to have that explained than this site isn’t for you.

Cupidtino is a beautiful new dating site created for fans of Apple products by fans of Apple products. Why? Diehard Mac & Apple fans often have a lot in common – personalities, creative professions, a similar sense of style and aesthetics, taste, a love for technology, and an annoying sense of entitlement.

Cupidtino believes these are enough fundamental reasons for two people to meet and fall in love, and so they created the first Mac-inspired dating site to help you find other Machearts around you.  Black turtlenecks and jeans are not required, but an Apple product is.  You must use a MacBook, iPhone, or Ipad to use their system.

This post was written on a Mac.

If the Smurf puppets singing “lalalalala” for 2 1/2 minutes isn’t enough to get you tripping in the first video we have a second video of the dude singing it live with some puppets. It’s Smurftastic

A woman in Russia was mugged on her way home and in the ensuing scuffle she was stabbed in the back of the neck.

However, she did not realized it until she got home later.

In a story that seems too crazy to be true, the story has circulated around as this picture lends credence to the events.

An extraordinary picture that has gone around the world of a knife plunged into the back of a woman mugging victim is genuine, it was revealed by doctors in Moscow tonight.

Julia Popova, 22, was stabbed by a mugger as she walked home from work one day last autumn – but she was so traumatised by the attack that she walked home without realising the knife was embedded in her, just a fraction of an inch from her spinal cord.

In the image, blood is shown gushing from the wound as surgeons stare in awe, apparently preparing to operate to remove the six-inch blade.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1248155/The-mugging-victim-inch-knife–didnt-notice.html#ixzz0edIVshWt

Mmmm….who wants some Camel Balls Bubble Gum?

We love this classic treat but we still haven’t been able to find a box in Knoxville.  From the makers of the Arabian Goggles comes the sour-flavored, liquid-filled bubble gum modeled after the most luscious part of a camel.  It’s nuts!

And more importantly, what flavor is this? In the States we have flavors like Ranch and Nacho Cheese. Guess this bag of Doritos from Japan is Freaky Nut Crunch flavor.  Mmmmm….tasty!

You’d think it was an article from the Onion or involving Andy Dick but this happened in real life.  Turns out that a dude, who’s either a genius or a con man [thin line to walk], had convinced a village to get freaky with each other in the open for the sake of a big banana crop.  Awesome!

PAPUA New Guinea police are hunting the leader of a sex cult who promised villagers a bumper banana harvest if they engaged in public sex.

The man and his followers fled naked into the wilderness when police tried to arrest them over the weekend, the Post Courier newspaper reported.

The newspaper said the villagers in Morobe province, about 200km north of the capital Port Moresby, had been promised their banana harvest would increase 10-fold every time they had sex in public.

It said the cult leader was wanted for a range of alleged offences over the past four months, including threatening people and illegal sexual activity.

Inspector Adam Busil said he and officers surrounded the man’s hut early Saturday but he refused to come out, then made a dash for freedom with about seven naked followers.

“He used his two wives as a human shield to avoid being shot at by the policemen,” Busil said.

“They were called on to surrender but they refused.”

He said extra officers were being called in to track down the cultists.

Somewhere in Britain they seem to have a problem with tots digging into dog shit and eating it all up.  Sadly, after seeing English cuisine, we can see why the kids are doing this.

We expected someone named Turd Ferguson to be attached to this article but it turns out that the local spokesman is named Dave Butt.  Love it!

Torbay Council launched the controversial poster campaign at the end of April to tackle a long-running problem of dog fouling.

Now local councillor Dave Butt said that dog mess on the streets has fallen by more than half from 400 reported incidents in April to 185 in June.

According to the Internet, which does not lie, the Comfort Wipe [aka Ass-wiping stick] is a real product. So when that fat dude says it’s a great product it must be true. We bet the Comfort Wipe gets a workout by that dude after a night of burritos.