You Cannot Spell THUG Without U + T

dangerdave — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:30:14 +0000

I Can Has Cheezeburger?

OK. So maybe Tennessee will win the Fulmer Cup this year.VOL Nation is in a little bit of turmoil at the moment. Turns out three highly recruited freshmen football players mistook Knoxville for the University of Miami and went on a crime spree filled with blood and helicopters and dead penguins and mayhem.

There was a long, drawn out police chase which cornered the 3 kids in an abandoned warehouse where a 4-hour shootout occurred before the entire industrial block was blown up by Jack Bauer and a helicopter armed with a nuclear warhead.

Sigh….not really…

The truth is 3 UT players pretended to be thugs and held up some broke kids on campus with airguns and escaped in a Prius.

Yep. A Prius!

How’s that for street cred? No Lil Wayne song is gonna make it sound cool for poppin’ a BB in someone’s ass and hoppin’ in the eco-friendly Prius.

Here’s some raw video of the arrests from WVLT.

The stupidity of the crimes doesn’t end there. They did it on Cumberland Avenue, or the “Strip” as we local folks call it. That’s the road next to campus. You can’t miss it. Everyone travels down it and it’s filled with hobos and UT students at that time of night.

So, at 2 in the AM, three recognizable football players go to a gas station and try to rob a couple of UT kids.

We can safely say that on any campus college students are not known for their huge wallets of cash. It’s not exactly a prime area for lots of cash.

The victims didn’t have money to offer but did have a cheeseburger. The three football players decided not to mug them of their food.

The alleged incident reportedly took place at the Pilot Foodmart on the Cumberland Avenue “Strip”. According to police reports it was around 2am when two men in black hoodies entered a car occupied by three men. One assailant held a gun at the driver’s head and demanded money. The victims claimed that they had nothing to offer but a cheeseburger, and a third man then urged the other two suspects to leave the scene. Janzen Jackson is reported to be the third man who entered the scene. [source]

It also didn’t help that one of the dumbass douchebag football players was wearing a UT Adidas shirt. The only way they could of made it easier on the cops is to wear their game jerseys.

Can I get that cheeseburger now?

It’s hard to try to make the news of 3 Vols arrested for armed robbery into anything other than what it is: a complete embarrassment.

There is one bit of great news and that is none of these douchebag boneheads hurt anyone. The guns turned out to be airguns and all parties walked away with no physical injuries. That’s such good news these days.

The only injury was to the careers of defensive back Janzen Jackson, 19, and wide receiver Nu’Keese Richardson, 19, and defensive back Michael Edwards, 18, who pissed all over UT tradition with their cowardly acts.

Fuck you, Janzen Jackson.

Fuck you, Nu’Keese Richardson.

Fuck you, Michael Edwards.

You are all an embarassment to the Orange and White.

Begone with you!

That rant aside, can you imagine the footage of a car chase through Knoxville with 30 police cars after a Prius. That’s funny shit! Those things can go forever on a full tank and they’re slow as Hell.

Besides, they probably could have gotten away faster by running. Although we know Nu’Keese might have fumbled his Air-Soft pellet gun.

Let’s also take a nice look at this great picture from Nu’Keese’s Facebook page showing his huge stack of Benji’s.

Oh,….wait. Those are just $1 bills. Well, he probably has enough to gas up the Prius with that wad. Not enough for bail, though….

Dollar Bills, y'all!

Coach Lane Kiffin has not announced the punishment for the 3 kids as he stated he is waiting for an investigation by the University into the matters. Kiffin has pledged to help clean up the UT football program and this is his first major hurdle. So at the moment it is a wait-and-see on the futures of these three criminals.

Dave and Thomas Daily Timekillers » michael edwards

You Cannot Spell THUG Without U + T