The Vols are losing and in the cellar at the moment.  They haven’t been 0-5 in the SEC since the 70′s, which is about the last time the pants that Dooley wears were acceptable.  As for a gimmick on the sidelines, they’re fine.  It stands out even though they burn out the retinas.

To help celebrate Dooley’s orange pants, UT students organized a “Fear the Pants” flash mob during the Vols’ Oct. 29 game against South Carolina. Former UT coach and college football hall-of-famer Johnny Majors makes a cameo. FEAR THE PANTS!

But the best thing I’ve seen all weekend is the little Derek Dooley Halloween costume. Epic!  It nails the perfect hair of Dooley down while still preserving the epicness of the pants.  Someone in Knoxville is my new hero.

It’s time for some Hip Hop Violin.

Josh Vietti is a Pop Violinist and he’s pretty darn good. His promo “Hip Hop Violin” is a fantastic blend of classical instruments with modern hip hop music. To the best of my knowledge I’m going with these 4 songs as being sampled in Vietti’s work below.

Terror Squad – “Lean Back” ft. Fat Joe, Remy

Kanye West – “Flashing Lights”

Chris Brown – “Forever”

David Guetta – “Memories” (Featuring Kid Cudi)

The local festival was held recently with the winners being picked over the weekend and burritos awarded to the lucky champs.  OK, not entirely true as Chipotle Knoxville did give out a Years Worth of Burritos!  It wasn’t the grand prize but if I were in town to work on this that would have been my goal to win.

Mmmmm…..Chipotle…..

Faced with the task of coming up with a good idea in a short amount of time, Jason, Curtis and Lauren try to figure out what kind of short movie they can do for the Knoxville 24 Hour Film Festival.  Awesome short film and well made by the Brooks Brothers.

Why they hold it in the summer when everyone’s busy or gone and not the fall or spring when all the students are in town beats me but I’m glad they are still pushing out the fun festival and getting sponsors.

Of course it helps when you get the privilege of using a RED Camera.

That of course got me hungry and I headed out for a bite to eat.

For the younger generation out there you will not remember this but there was a time when you went to a restaurant and asked for ketchup and the server would bring you a glass bottle of the awesome stuff. But those bottles sucked. Now they have plastic where you can squeeze and actually get some of the ketchup out before your meal gets cold. But back with those junky glass bottles you had to tap and tap and tap and hope it would come out soon. Or you could use a knife and work it out but that was nasty messy.

Thankfully, over the years ketchup condiment technology has blown up. Awhile back there were even colored ketchup like green and purple. They were gross because you don’t really want a purple goo on your hot dog. Maybe you do, I won’t judge. But for the bulk of us it was kinda gross.

During a recent trip to Chick-fil-A to get my dose of Spicy Chicken sandwiches, I saw the long awaited new ketchup packs from Heinz and they were beautiful. Squeeze or dip, these guys are ready to go and without the mess and hassle of trying to open one of those small ketchup pillows.

It’s one step toward ketchup awesomeness but they still have a way to go to top this Japanese Mustard/Ketchup combo, which is perfect for corn dogs. And I loves me some corn dogs.

I’m not sure where that last part comes in but if you haven’t tried a fried bologna sandwich I highly recommend them. [via]

Nah, that’s not where Ash told me to shop. I’m going to head down to the local S-Mart.

Maximum speed limit is 57 mph?  Wha….?

I want to believe he was in that Cash Advance shop trying to get some cash to buy some orphans some clothing.  He’s just that kind of guy….

Knoxville Redneck Parks His Truck

I was lucky enough to hit them up one day and saw that they put the Kool-Aid out.  Like I needed another reason to love them.

Chandler's Deli Knoxville Kool-Aid

Some of them play football.  Oh, ….too soon?

Anyway, I have to give a bit of credit to North Carolina here as this dude is from there. However, he was busted in South Knoxville this week so we’re going with that.

For whatever reason (theft, arson, burglary, idiocy .. ) William Hussey decided to drop in on a home in South Knoxville. Literally.

The KPD was called to fish out a drunk Hussey after he was stuck in the chimney. Nice! The drunk Hussey with public intoxication, vandalism and aggravated trespassing.

Yeah, I called him a drunk Hussey.

What this drunk Hussey was doing is another matter.

A 22-year-old North Carolina man found himself in a tight squeeze this morning after he opted to climb down a stranger’s chimney in South Knoxville.

Police were alerted about midnight by the homeowner at 112 Royal Heights Drive that she heard someone calling for help from her chimney, according to Knoxville Police Department Lt. Jim Settlemyer.

When officers arrived, they found a 2003 GMC Envoy with a door open abandoned in the road. The vehicle emitted a strong odor of gasoline because of seven gas containers in the back, Settlemyer said.

It should be interesting to see the what comes of this case. My vote is he’s training to be Santa in December. Maybe a chimney cleaner. Who knows but pass the bottle around of whatever this dude is drinking because it sounds like fun.

Here at the local Knoxville Mexican restaurant, Casa Don Gallo, the management has issued a nice warning on their menu for you.

Don’t eat the undercocked meats.  Might not be healthy for you.

Last week out hometown Knoxville Ice Bears set a league record in penalty minutes when a massive brawl cleared out the benches and resulted in a forfeit game due to a lack of players!

Officials called 32 penalties on 20 players and a coach Saturday night in the season ending game for the Ice Bears during fan appreciation night. When they said ‘fan appreciation‘ they sure meant it.

The Fayetteville FireAntz and the Knoxville Ice Bears clear benches after the 2nd period and the biggest brawl in SPHL history takes place. Ten Fayetteville players and the team’s coach had been ejected. Nine Knoxville players had been tossed.

A statement from the Ice Bears said no players or fans were injured but it is now the fans favorite game of the year. Let’s take a look at the brawl with a few fan videos:

Watch Gordon Boyd lose it on live TV and check out hte reaction of anchorman Alan Williams. Priceless!

There were two loud sounds coming out of Rocky Top this week.  The first is when the collective jaws of Knoxville  hit the floor when Vols coach Lane Kiffin flipped us all the bird and headed out of town faster than anyone we’ve ever seen. 

Seriously. That dude gave a 1 minute press conference with one foot in the plane.

The second sound was a gasp that came out of Rocky Top when UT hired a relative unknown coach by the name of Derek Dooley to replace Kiffin.  People around here do not really know Dooley so naturally we are skeptical. 

But after the Kiffin fiasco we are all just looking to move on at this point.

Sweet Lord! Look at that beautiful head of hair!

The more we look into the life of Derek Dooley the more relaxed we become.  This week has been hectic as Lane Kiffin’s Beverly Hillbillies routine left us going “WTF!”

But now the Vols have an identity in the form of Derek Dooley.  And yes, he spells his first name just like the fashion model so that’s a plus. We hope that Dooley works out and here are five reasons we believe he will:

5) He is the son of Vince Dooley, legendary coach at Georgia.  That s%*t looks good on a resume.

1)The Hair!  Look at that hair.  Folks, we have a winner!

Get you hazmat suits out because clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut.