Dave and Thomas Daily Timekillers

Posts Tagged ‘knoxville’

The disturbing case of the Christian-Newsom trials has everyone in our little town a bit frustrated and the 4 seperate trials of the accused are coming to an end. The nature of the crimes can be challenging for a news reporter to cover but in the case of WVLT’s Gordon Boyd it looks like good old fashioned technical difficulties.

Watch Gordon Boyd lose it on live TV and check out hte reaction of anchorman Alan Williams. Priceless!

There were two loud sounds coming out of Rocky Top this week.  The first is when the collective jaws of Knoxville  hit the floor when Vols coach Lane Kiffin flipped us all the bird and headed out of town faster than anyone we’ve ever seen. 

Seriously. That dude gave a 1 minute press conference with one foot in the plane.

The second sound was a gasp that came out of Rocky Top when UT hired a relative unknown coach by the name of Derek Dooley to replace Kiffin.  People around here do not really know Dooley so naturally we are skeptical. 

But after the Kiffin fiasco we are all just looking to move on at this point.

Sweet Lord! Look at that beautiful head of hair!

The more we look into the life of Derek Dooley the more relaxed we become.  This week has been hectic as Lane Kiffin’s Beverly Hillbillies routine left us going “WTF!”

But now the Vols have an identity in the form of Derek Dooley.  And yes, he spells his first name just like the fashion model so that’s a plus. We hope that Dooley works out and here are five reasons we believe he will:

5) He is the son of Vince Dooley, legendary coach at Georgia.  That s%*t looks good on a resume.

1)The Hair!  Look at that hair.  Folks, we have a winner!

We couldn’t help but fall in love with this news clip about a major bus accident for participants heading to a dating reality show for local celebrity Johnny Knoxville.

Get you hazmat suits out because clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut.

The end of the world is coming to East Tennessee, in a matter of speaking. A winter storm is coming and they are calling for 3-6 inches. Tragic, isn’t it?

We know Northerners are used to snow fall but down here we’re not. People flip the Hell out and for some reason the first thing they do is head to the grocery store and only buy 3 things: bread, milk, and eggs. It’s kinda freaky. You’d think maybe some bottled water or TP would be sold out but try buying bread before a snowstorm and you’ll be out of luck.

So, while Knoxville prepares for what someone from Pennsylvania might call a ‘dusting’ of snow, here are some links to keep you warm.

Celebrities: Artie Lange stabs himself in a suicide attempt : AfroJacks

Funny :  Lady Forgets She’s Not At Burger King  :  Tasty Booze

Funny : Newspaper misunderstanding  : Deaddog

Sports: 10 Fictional Sporting Events We’d Pay Good Money to Attend : Funny Crave

Funny :  Just another day on the school bus, rolling over mailboxes into a ditch with a dozen screaming kids : Foundry Music

Women :  30 years of sexy ladies: THE FINALS : Guyism

Tech : The Official iPhone App is out for Break.com! : All Left Turns

Funny: An Infographic Look Back at Historically Great Sex Scandals : MadAtoms

Sports: Top 10 NFL Players Who Wear Number 10 : The Pigskin Doctors

Tech: Control a Helicopter with your iPhone: Mashable

Funny :  Saruman The White Makes A Metal Concept Album: Gamma Squad

Funny : The Creepiest, Strangest and Most Depressing TV Commercials : URLesque

Geek : Superhero Versions of 80s Album Art by Cliff Chiang : Comics Alliance

Funny : The Ultimate Fish Punching Reality Show! : Atom.com

Movies: 20 Stupid Star Wars Character Names : Gunaxin

Society: 5,000 newly fat booted from “beautiful people only” website for holiday weight gain : The Bachelor Guy

Women: Molly Sims Tries To Put Viagra Out Of Business : Don Chavez

Animals : Animals, Funny 20 Moments In Animal Awesomeness : Banned in Hollywood

Celebrities : Michael Cera: Mind Murderer : Next Round

One of the craziest years on our books is over. Finally. Someone tap 2009 on the shoulder because it’s time to come out of the game. As the world gathers this week to celebrate the beginning of the new decade we are wondering about the status of our world.

Will our economy bounce back? Will vampire movies still be run into the ground? Will Tiger Woods recover? These are just some of the things on our mind as we take a look back at some of the best and worst of 2009 and reflect.

Maybe it’s the moonshine, but we’re feeling a little nostalgic.

We’d like to point out that the movie 2010 with Roy Scheider was full of crap.  We are no where near the ability to cruise around the moons of Jupiter much less have crazy-ass computers going on killing sprees or have the technology to give John Lithgow a full head of hair.

It’s all a crock!

Since we can’t go into space or fly around the city in our hovercar or personal jet pack, we are forced to stay here on Earth and take the best that society has to offer.  And by society we mean the Internet.  Pop culture had a big year in 2009 and here’s some of the highlights over the last 12 months.

December 2009: Japanese Nurse Prank

November 2009: And the Tiger Woods Scandal Begins

October 2009: Five Reasons Chicago Was Rejected For 2016 Olympic Games

September 2009: Rejected Titles of Sarah Palins New Book

August 2009: From Hell: Christian-Newsom Murder Trial Begins In Knoxville

July 2009:  Why is Captain Kirk Climbing a Mountain?

June 2009: 5 Best Zach Galifianakis Moments

May 2009:  Ferris Bueller Fight Club Theory: You Sir Just Blew My Mind

April 2009: Great Japanese Fluorescent Light Fights

March 2009: Padma Lakshmi Sexy Hardee’s Burger Commercial

February 2009: Lily Allen Performing in Blue Lingerie

January 2009: Johnny Knoxville detained for inert grenade at airport

I Can Has Cheezeburger?

OK.  So maybe Tennessee will win the Fulmer Cup this year.VOL Nation is in a little bit of turmoil at the moment.  Turns out three highly recruited freshmen football players mistook Knoxville for the University of Miami and went on a crime spree filled with blood and helicopters and dead penguins and mayhem.

There was a long, drawn out police chase which cornered the 3 kids in an abandoned warehouse where a 4-hour shootout occurred before the entire industrial block was blown up by Jack Bauer and a helicopter armed with a nuclear warhead.

Sigh….not really…

The truth is 3 UT players pretended to be thugs and held up some broke kids on campus with airguns and escaped in a Prius.

Yep.  A Prius!

How’s that for street cred?  No Lil Wayne song is gonna make it sound cool for poppin’ a BB in someone’s ass and hoppin’ in the eco-friendly Prius.

Here’s some raw video of the arrests from WVLT.

The stupidity of the crimes doesn’t end there.  They did it on Cumberland Avenue, or the “Strip” as we local folks call it.  That’s the road next to campus.  You can’t miss it. Everyone travels down it and it’s filled with hobos and UT students at that time of night.

So, at 2 in the AM, three recognizable football players go to a gas station and try to rob a couple of UT kids.

We can safely say that on any campus college students are not known for their huge wallets of cash.  It’s not exactly a prime area for lots of cash.

The victims didn’t have money to offer but did have a cheeseburger.  The three football players decided not to mug them of their food.

The alleged incident reportedly took place at the Pilot Foodmart on the Cumberland Avenue “Strip”. According to police reports it was around 2am when two men in black hoodies entered a car occupied by three men. One assailant held a gun at the driver’s head and demanded money. The victims claimed that they had nothing to offer but a cheeseburger, and a third man then urged the other two suspects to leave the scene. Janzen Jackson is reported to be the third man who entered the scene. [source]

It also didn’t help that one of the dumbass douchebag football players was wearing a UT Adidas shirt. The only way they could of made it easier on the cops is to wear their game jerseys.

Can I get that cheeseburger now?

It’s hard to try to make the news of 3 Vols arrested for armed robbery into anything other than what it is: a complete embarrassment.

There is one bit of  great news and that is none of these douchebag boneheads hurt anyone.  The guns turned out to be airguns and all parties walked away with no physical injuries.  That’s such good news these days.

The only injury was to the careers of defensive back Janzen Jackson, 19, and wide receiver Nu’Keese Richardson, 19, and defensive back Michael Edwards, 18, who pissed all over UT tradition with their cowardly acts.

Fuck you, Janzen Jackson.

Fuck you, Nu’Keese Richardson.

Fuck you, Michael Edwards.

You are all an embarassment to the Orange and White.

Begone with you!

That rant aside, can you imagine the footage of a car chase through Knoxville with 30 police cars after a Prius.  That’s funny shit!  Those things can go forever on a full tank and they’re slow as Hell.

Besides, they probably could have gotten away faster by running.  Although we know Nu’Keese might have fumbled his Air-Soft pellet gun.

Let’s also take a nice look at this great picture from Nu’Keese’s Facebook page showing his huge stack of Benji’s. 

Oh,….wait.  Those are just $1 bills.  Well, he probably has enough to gas up the Prius with that wad. Not enough for bail, though….

Dollar Bills, y'all!

Coach Lane Kiffin has not announced the punishment for the 3 kids as he stated he is waiting for an investigation by the University into the matters.  Kiffin has pledged to help clean up the UT football program and this is his first major hurdle.  So at the moment it is a wait-and-see on the futures of these three criminals.

• UT football players arrested for attempted armed robbery
• Trouble in Tennessee
• So what’s Lane Kiffin going to talk about now?
• Kiffin’s streak ends at “11 months and 11 days”: Three UT football players …

Nu’Keese Richardson was one of 3 UT Vols busted around town this week for holding up some people with a gun. The highly touted freshman receiver in one swift move pissed away his career but all of that could have been avoided if this special video had been available.

It’s a Chinese police video showing you how to properly handle an assailant, in this case not Nu’Keese, but you get the picture.

Lane Kiffin deserves “Coach of the Year” for shaking the Ghost of Fulmer and making the Vols a competitive team once again despite a huge ga.

After a rough start, the Vols have started to find their grove with huge wins over SC and Georgia and one big lose in Alabama that should not have been.  Lane’s got it OK, though. He has a hot wife, rolled out black Vols Jerseys to the joy of UT fans and is mentioned in rap song by Lil Wayne, so he’s riding in the front car of the pimp train right now exchanging high-fives with Bruce Pearl.

image source

The DNA does not lie.

Lemaricus Davidson, the alleged ringleader of the torture/slaying of Channon Christian and Hugh Christopher Newsom, will have one more night to sleep wondering if he will get the death penalty

We highly doubt a person that partook in these events has much of a conscience to worry about at this point so he’s probably sleeping OK.   He showed little sign of emotion as the trial took place in Knoxville over the last few weeks and which was followed closely by the local media as well as concerned people via TV and online media streams.

Twitter has help keep Knoxville updated on the trial via searching for the #cntrial term.  We followed along and noticed that some media outlets, notably WATE’s Gene Patterson and Knox News’ Jamie Satterfield,  utilized the power of Twitter this way while others outlets fell by the wayside.

In all, 46 counts were brought against Davidson which meant not whether the broke, drug dealer was going to jail, but rather how long and would he get the death penalty.

There's a special place in Hell for you, Davidson

A jury from Knox County [7 men and 5 women] did what a jury bused in from Davidson County could not with Davidson’s half-brother Letalvis Cobbins. They found the man guilty on all the counts most notably those that would be eligible for a death penalty.

….story continues below.  Be warned of graphic details of the case linked in the story.

Lane Kiffin’s main goal this year with the Vols was to get the team back in the headlines. With his series of outbursts against SEC coaches and officials, Lane is giving Steve Spurrier a run for his money in the “Mouth of the South” contest.

But now it’s just gone platinum. Spurrier can’t match this!

Rapper Lil Wayne has made Lane Kiffin a star[and a fan of his music] by referencing the coach’s knack for loose lips in a new single from Wayne’s latest album.

*bump*

In Lil’s newest track, Banned From TV, the Southern rapper includes this line, “Smoke weed, talk s— like Lane Kiffin.”

Now Lane Kiffin has acknowledged the endorsement via Twitter, tweeting today, “looking forward to another great practice today and a huge game Saturday … also a huge shout-out to Lil Wayne for boosting our street cred!”

Tweet This, Bitches!

The video is below and Vol fans will find the line about 1:10 into the song. Word. And for those not familiar with Lil Wayne’s music, feel free to turn up the speakers in the office and blast this single as loud as possible.* Everyone in the office will love it!