Dave and Thomas Daily Timekillers » christmas

Have a Sexy Fruitcake for Christmas

dangerdave — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:22:08 +0000

Have you ever received a fruitcake as a Christmas gift? Well, if you have you have gotten the sexiest gift of all! Fruitcake is the hottest edible gift there is and here’s a sexy holiday video about the sexiest of sexy holiday treats, fruitcake.

Have a great holiday!

Sexual Fruitcake – watch more funny videos

Sweet! A Very Calvin & Hobbes Christmas

dangerdave — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 02:39:51 +0000

Nothing says the holidays like Calvin’s snowmen! I miss Calvin & Hobbes. So for the holidays JimFrommeyer created this tribute to creator Bill Watterson and the great Calvin snowmen. Here’s a collection of some of Calvin’s famous macabre snowmen and it’s fantastic.

Yodeling Cat Sings In Creepy Christman Season

dangerdave — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 10:00:46 +0000

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a golden cup laced with acid because I don’t know if you see this or not but there’s a creepy cat yodeling some Christmas songs right here in this post.

I mean, you see that right? Cuz if not I need to get to the hospital.

WTF!?

A Very Zombie Christmas

dangerdave — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 02:09:15 +0000

The holidays are stressful enough with all the pressure of gifts and family. Throw in some zombie attacks and it’s easy to go over the edge. Thankfully, we have this instructional video that combines the zombie Apocalypse and the holidays in one handy package. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas From the Animals of YouTube

dangerdave — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 19:07:03 +0000

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the animals of YouTube.

A Mr Bean Christmas

dangerdave — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 01:54:38 +0000

Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) gets his hands on a nativity scene during Christmas.

The goofy yet silent screwball then starts to act out the scene based on his version of history. Probably based more on the other toys available to his reach.

We never knew that a T-Rex was part of Christ’s birth but you never really know. It might have happened this way. Luckily the tanks were there to fend off the dinosaurs.

History Of Christmas

dangerdave — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 01:46:13 +0000

Here’s the History of Christmas, Boondocks style. Huey explains to Granddad what the early Christmas was like.

Murray Christmas Everyone!

dangerdave — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 12:30:57 +0000

Murray Christmas, everyone! We do not get the gift of anymore Flight of the Conchords so we’ll have to make do with the two seasons gifted to us. The holidays are supposed to bring people together but we find that going out in public makes us want to be away from the public.

C’mon folks! Christmas is listed on the calendar. Why’d you wait until now to go out and get gifts? Here’s some gifts for you. The gift of timekilling links. Enjoy.

How Men & Women See Google: Maxim Magazine
Bah Humbug! Anti-Christmas Movies: Gunaxin
Deck The Halls With Lovely Ladies [NSFW]: Foundry Music
9 Christmas Shopping Coupons Inspired By the Recession: Funny Crave
Top 25 movie moments of the decade: Moviefone
10 Most Irritating People of 2009: YepYep
Simple Steps to Take Right Now to Help You Get a Job: Lemon Drop
Top 5 Dunks of the Decade: The Hoop Doctors
Shoot Down Your Girlfriend’s Sex-cuses! : Crave Online
Girl Ruins Christmas Mass: Melissa Bell strikes again with her fable “The Meaning of Christmas”: Atom.com
Sexy UPS Girls because today is the last day to shop online for Christmas 2009 [slightly NSFW]: COED Magazine
Kim Peek, Real ‘Rain Man,’ Dies at 58: Moviefone

Murray Christmas via

Bollywoods Jingle Bell Song is Freaky Cool

dangerdave — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 23:55:52 +0000

This ‘Indianised’ Jingle Bell song is oddly compelling and very creepy at the same time.

“I Gotta Feeling” With Christmas Lights

dangerdave — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:10:43 +0000

Just in case you are not totally sick to death of the Black Eyed Peas and their “I Gotta Feeling” song, we have for you a dude name Jonathan who tricked out his house so the Christmas lights are synced up to the song.

He also has a site that shows how he did it and the other songs he has set up to make his neighbors want to burn the house down.

Crazy Kiwis! New Zealand Mary and Joseph Billboard

dangerdave — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 17:42:05 +0000

Wow! Who knew that depicting a billboard with Jesus’ parent, Mary and Joseph, looking a little sad after making relations would be a negative thing?

Down there in New Zealand, home of the Conchords and a lot of sheep, the St Matthew-in-the-City Church in Auckland erected the billboard in hopes of turning heads.

They did.

Within hours the billboard was defaced.

The church’s vicar, Archdeacon Glynn Cardy, said the aim of the billboard had been to lampoon the literal interpretation of the Christmas conception story.

“What we’re trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about,” he told the New Zealand Press Association (NZPA).

“Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?”

He told NZPA that the church had received e-mails and phone calls about the controversial image.

“About 50% said they loved it, and about 50% said it was terribly offensive,” he said. “But that’s out of about 20 responses – this is New Zealand. [source]

20 responses! That’s quite a reaction.

I Am Jacks Weekend Links

dangerdave — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 10:09:11 +0000

This is the last weekend you have to buy your best friend or favorite family member that Dick Towel you’ve been longing for. It’s hard to believe it is only a week until Christmas and only a few weeks away from 2010.

Growing up we had huge expectations for that year. Mainly because they had the balls to make a movie about it and claim we’d be doing awesome stuff like living on the Moon or visiting Jupiter or having kick-ass robots like HAL going ape-shit and killing people.

Sadly we have none of that yet. We’re still just a bunch of dumb monkeys stuck on Earth…

Local News. We’re so Proud! A drunk four year old steals Christmas presents with a beer in hand
Merry Christmas! The Ultimate Sexy Christmas Gallery: Gunaxin
The 10 most rotten TV kids of all-time: Guysim
The Holidays 10 Worst Stocking Stuffers: Funny Crave
The Simpsons debuted 20 years ago today

Jaguars Mascot Jaxson Gets Stuck on Zip-line Above Field: Backporch Fanhouse
And we’re not on it? The 10 biggest a**holes of the decade: Chris Illuminati
Fucking Hilarious! Your Christmas Tree’s Twitter Page: Maxim Magazine
Dan Lebatard Speaks With Uncle Luke About ESPN Doc, “The U’”: The Smoking Section
Jersey Protesters Fight Stereotypes: Warming Glow
MTV Spokesman Defends “Jersey Shore” (And Guidos) : Comedy.com

Terrible Gifts for the MMA Fan: Heavy.com
Depressing Nativity Scenes: URLesque
Sweet! Fans of the Hangover check out Breaks “Hangover Hotel” Enter your e-mail address to win a Flip Mino HD cam: Break.com
Forget Online Dating and Speed Dating, now there’s Group Dating: The Bachelor Guy
Batman Through Time: Bruce Wayne Hangs with Jesus, Lincoln, and 80s Breakdancers: Comics Alliance

photo source

The Star Wars Holiday Special

dangerdave — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:32:47 +0000

Here is a segment from the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special featuring Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia singing an ode to “Life Day” – the Star Wars Universe’s answer to Christmas.

This is what the holidays are all about!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Wants You To Have A Very Meaty Christmas

ThomThumb — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:18:27 +0000

The guys at ATHF know how depressing the holiday season can be, so they have apparently decided to make it funny by releasing their very own Christmas album titled ATHF: Have Yourself A Meaty Little Christmas. The album has some of the classic songs you love (kinda) like “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”, “Feliz Navidad”, and “Silent Night”; as well as some new instant favorites such as “I Sure Hope I Don’t Have to Beat Your Ass This Christmas” and “Santa Left a Booger In My Stocking” featuring Neko Case. So whether you’re listening to this album while sipping cocoa with your family in front of the fireplace or having it piped in over the speakers at the local Zombie-Mart Megastore; we promise you’ll exchange WTF looks with the people around you and proceed to chuckle like you have a bowl full of jello.
For those who want to pick up your very own copy of ATHF: Have Yourself A Meaty Little Christmas just visit the Adult Swim Shop and let the funny begin. In the meantime, here are a couple of free streaming tracks for your listening pleasure.

Give Elvis to the one you love

dangerdave — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:33:03 +0000

It’s so beautiful. We saw these Elvis popcorn guitars and couldn’t resist but to buy a few dozen as our Christmas gifts this year.