Dave and Thomas Daily Timekillers

Archive for the ‘knoxville’ Category

The disturbing case of the Christian-Newsom trials has everyone in our little town a bit frustrated and the 4 seperate trials of the accused are coming to an end. The nature of the crimes can be challenging for a news reporter to cover but in the case of WVLT’s Gordon Boyd it looks like good old fashioned technical difficulties.

Watch Gordon Boyd lose it on live TV and check out hte reaction of anchorman Alan Williams. Priceless!

Here at Dave and Thomas we support locally owned and operated family businesses. That’s why we dig Knoxville’s newest business, the Lane Kiffin Moving Company. This 3-man team is quick and will get you where you need. Even overnight if you want. Be sure to ask about their newest route to Los Angeles.

Family Owned and Operated

Dear Tennessee Vols Athletics Director Mike Hamilton,

Please.  Get your Shit together.

Thank you,

Vol Nation

Wow! Again?

We know our University of Tennessee can be a sports program loosely disguised as a University [Go Vols!] at times but you’d think that after the embarrassment of multiple football players being arrested/kicked off the team that the other sports would take a closer look at what they are doing. Or at least teach these kids how not to be blatantly stupid.

You know, since the media and the NCAA might be looking a little into how we operate things down here.

After the Prius Holdup and the Tennessee Hostesses, it looks like we have another scandal on our dockets. Tyler Smith, Brian Williams, Melvin Goins and Cameron Tatum were arrested by Knoxville police last Friday bringing the total number of Vols arrested* this Fall the same as the Football teams number of victories.

Four University of Tennessee basketball players were arrested on drug and weapons charges today after a Knoxville police officer stopped the car they were riding in for speeding on Alcoa Highway near Kingston Pike. [via Knoxnews GoVols Xtra]

We don’t think that Tennessee Athletics Director Mike Hamilton got the memo that having the  “T” in “UT” standing for “Thug” is not a good thing.  The Vols aren’t going to have too many more postseasons if Hamilton cannot learn to evoke discipline in his sports programs or better yet have the men start playing by the disciplinary guidelines of Pat Summitt.

The officer requested back-up and a K-9 unit. After the dog alerted officers to the presence of marijuana, the vehicle was searched.

Knoxville police said they found a handgun under the driver seat, a handgun with an altered serial number under the passenger seat, a baggy of marijuana, and a open container of alcohol.

The police report says Tatum was the driver and faces a weapon and unlawful container charge. Originally, police said Smith and Williams would face felony weapons charges. But, Judicial Commissioner Robert Cole tells 6 News the pair will face misdemeanor weapons charges. Goins faces a weapons charge and a drug possession charge. [via WATE]

…because size does matter.

Nu’Keese is going to be looking for a Nu job now that our Vols have made a decision about 2 of the 3 Prius-rolling gangsta’s caught up in the embarrassing attempted armed robbery last week.

Coach Lane Kiffin dismissed Nu’Keese Richardson and fellow Mensa nominee Mike Edwards from the Vol program. That’s a nice way of saying “You’re Fired!”

Vol Nation stood around getting anxious at seeing if Lane Kiffin would stand by his words of cleaning up the UT program. He did.  So far.  2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

Janzen Jackson, the third genius in the posse, is essentially suspended from the program until further notice. His suspension leans on looking into the charges again Jackson more because he may or may not have been fully involved with the crime.

If nothing else they should all be run out of town for doing this on campus and using a Prius for a getaway car!

“After extensive and thorough research of the situation over the last four days and considering various disciplinary options, I’ve decided it’s in the best interest of our program to remove Nu’Keese and Mike,” Kiffin said. “As I’ve said many times before, we hold our student-athletes to an extremely high standard on and off the field. Our student-athletes must be responsible members of society, and this type of conduct will not be tolerated.

“We want a positive culture for our student-athletes that allows them to succeed in the classroom, on the field, and in life after college. My hope is that these two young men will learn from their terrible decision. Clearly, their actions have no place in our program.”

I Can Has Cheezeburger?

OK.  So maybe Tennessee will win the Fulmer Cup this year.VOL Nation is in a little bit of turmoil at the moment.  Turns out three highly recruited freshmen football players mistook Knoxville for the University of Miami and went on a crime spree filled with blood and helicopters and dead penguins and mayhem.

There was a long, drawn out police chase which cornered the 3 kids in an abandoned warehouse where a 4-hour shootout occurred before the entire industrial block was blown up by Jack Bauer and a helicopter armed with a nuclear warhead.

Sigh….not really…

The truth is 3 UT players pretended to be thugs and held up some broke kids on campus with airguns and escaped in a Prius.

Yep.  A Prius!

How’s that for street cred?  No Lil Wayne song is gonna make it sound cool for poppin’ a BB in someone’s ass and hoppin’ in the eco-friendly Prius.

Here’s some raw video of the arrests from WVLT.

The stupidity of the crimes doesn’t end there.  They did it on Cumberland Avenue, or the “Strip” as we local folks call it.  That’s the road next to campus.  You can’t miss it. Everyone travels down it and it’s filled with hobos and UT students at that time of night.

So, at 2 in the AM, three recognizable football players go to a gas station and try to rob a couple of UT kids.

We can safely say that on any campus college students are not known for their huge wallets of cash.  It’s not exactly a prime area for lots of cash.

The victims didn’t have money to offer but did have a cheeseburger.  The three football players decided not to mug them of their food.

The alleged incident reportedly took place at the Pilot Foodmart on the Cumberland Avenue “Strip”. According to police reports it was around 2am when two men in black hoodies entered a car occupied by three men. One assailant held a gun at the driver’s head and demanded money. The victims claimed that they had nothing to offer but a cheeseburger, and a third man then urged the other two suspects to leave the scene. Janzen Jackson is reported to be the third man who entered the scene. [source]

It also didn’t help that one of the dumbass douchebag football players was wearing a UT Adidas shirt. The only way they could of made it easier on the cops is to wear their game jerseys.

Can I get that cheeseburger now?

It’s hard to try to make the news of 3 Vols arrested for armed robbery into anything other than what it is: a complete embarrassment.

There is one bit of  great news and that is none of these douchebag boneheads hurt anyone.  The guns turned out to be airguns and all parties walked away with no physical injuries.  That’s such good news these days.

The only injury was to the careers of defensive back Janzen Jackson, 19, and wide receiver Nu’Keese Richardson, 19, and defensive back Michael Edwards, 18, who pissed all over UT tradition with their cowardly acts.

Fuck you, Janzen Jackson.

Fuck you, Nu’Keese Richardson.

Fuck you, Michael Edwards.

You are all an embarassment to the Orange and White.

Begone with you!

That rant aside, can you imagine the footage of a car chase through Knoxville with 30 police cars after a Prius.  That’s funny shit!  Those things can go forever on a full tank and they’re slow as Hell.

Besides, they probably could have gotten away faster by running.  Although we know Nu’Keese might have fumbled his Air-Soft pellet gun.

Let’s also take a nice look at this great picture from Nu’Keese’s Facebook page showing his huge stack of Benji’s. 

Oh,….wait.  Those are just $1 bills.  Well, he probably has enough to gas up the Prius with that wad. Not enough for bail, though….

Dollar Bills, y'all!

Coach Lane Kiffin has not announced the punishment for the 3 kids as he stated he is waiting for an investigation by the University into the matters.  Kiffin has pledged to help clean up the UT football program and this is his first major hurdle.  So at the moment it is a wait-and-see on the futures of these three criminals.

• UT football players arrested for attempted armed robbery
• Trouble in Tennessee
• So what’s Lane Kiffin going to talk about now?
• Kiffin’s streak ends at “11 months and 11 days”: Three UT football players …

Nu’Keese Richardson was one of 3 UT Vols busted around town this week for holding up some people with a gun. The highly touted freshman receiver in one swift move pissed away his career but all of that could have been avoided if this special video had been available.

It’s a Chinese police video showing you how to properly handle an assailant, in this case not Nu’Keese, but you get the picture.

Lane Kiffin deserves “Coach of the Year” for shaking the Ghost of Fulmer and making the Vols a competitive team once again despite a huge ga.

After a rough start, the Vols have started to find their grove with huge wins over SC and Georgia and one big lose in Alabama that should not have been.  Lane’s got it OK, though. He has a hot wife, rolled out black Vols Jerseys to the joy of UT fans and is mentioned in rap song by Lil Wayne, so he’s riding in the front car of the pimp train right now exchanging high-fives with Bruce Pearl.

image source

We don’t know about you, but we can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking black Vols jerseys and arrange everyone we know in a “T”-shaped formation in our dining room. That shit is going to be awesome. We’ll then all start singing “Rocky Top” at the top of our lungs and march around in unison.

Once we get some we’ll then head down to the storage area to find our UT helmets, dust them off, and slap them on with the instantly awesome black Vols jersey and begin running tackling drills in the living room.

When any friends come over to our apartment it’s gonna be like, BAM!!! Check out this fucking awesome array of black and orange, bitches. Then we’d tackle them.

Vols Black Jerseys

We got Big Orange and Black fever!  No silly pig-flu shot is gonna cure you of that.

Black Vols jerseys sound like a pretty fitting way to ring in the first season for Coach Lane Kiffin. You know what else sounds awesome? Performing an all-black Vols jersey reenactment of the entire South Carolina/Vols game in our living room – including the rain.

We’re gonna rig up a couple of those  lawn sprinklers from outside from that extra long garden hose and get our grumpy, unemployed neighbor, Mr. Fuhrwellington, to play the role of Steve Spurrier. We’ll slap one of those geeky visors on his fat ass and stick him in the corner and let him try to call the plays to beat a team wearing black jerseys.

News flash.  It can’t be done.  Black jerseys make you immortal!

The next thing we’re going to do is get about 50 pumpkins carved with Vols  “T’s” on those bastards and line them along the walls to represent the awesome Vols crowd at Neyland Stadium.  We’ll crank up the Lil Wayne and then  call over our friends and some hookers  and get some of those hobos from the liquor store across the street and get this game going.

Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it?

We’ll dress up the hobos in SC shirts.   That’s  easy to do.  They just have to be red shirts and then have COCKS written on them with Sharpie.  Hell, we might just draw pictures of cocks on them. These hobos better keep their eyes peeled for the weak side blitz.  When it comes to the black jerseys, there is no mercy and having a black jersey makes every player hit 17% harder.

Welcome to the Terrordome, fuckheads!  You hear that snap?  That’s your spine being crashed in as a wave of black swarms on the ball and consumes you.

We’re gonna rock those black jerseys all night long. And when the game comes to an end and all the hobos are lumped on the floor gasping for air as the black jerseys stand mightily over them while our friends and the hookers cheer and throw empty beer bottles at the wall, we’ll grab those pumpkins and smash them over Mr. Fuhrwellington to cap the victory.

Because that’s how we do it in Big Orange and Black Country!  Go Vols!

Parody of the great McSweeney

The DNA does not lie.

Lemaricus Davidson, the alleged ringleader of the torture/slaying of Channon Christian and Hugh Christopher Newsom, will have one more night to sleep wondering if he will get the death penalty

We highly doubt a person that partook in these events has much of a conscience to worry about at this point so he’s probably sleeping OK.   He showed little sign of emotion as the trial took place in Knoxville over the last few weeks and which was followed closely by the local media as well as concerned people via TV and online media streams.

Twitter has help keep Knoxville updated on the trial via searching for the #cntrial term.  We followed along and noticed that some media outlets, notably WATE’s Gene Patterson and Knox News’ Jamie Satterfield,  utilized the power of Twitter this way while others outlets fell by the wayside.

In all, 46 counts were brought against Davidson which meant not whether the broke, drug dealer was going to jail, but rather how long and would he get the death penalty.

There's a special place in Hell for you, Davidson

A jury from Knox County [7 men and 5 women] did what a jury bused in from Davidson County could not with Davidson’s half-brother Letalvis Cobbins. They found the man guilty on all the counts most notably those that would be eligible for a death penalty.

….story continues below.  Be warned of graphic details of the case linked in the story.