Be careful what you ask for. Or at least be more specific!

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This guy, who despite his creepiness, may or may not be an official TSA agent.  It’s hard to tell because of the travels I’ve had this about sums it up.  That and all the Middle Eastern dudes who get that ‘random’ spot check.

Video slightly NSFW

Because Captain Planet is back and he’s ready to make heads roll. Well, not really. More like turn every person into a tree.

If the make,…wait. That’s wrong. WHEN they make the Captain Planet movie, this is how it should go down. Don Cheadle as the Captain getting all kinds of green over everyone’s asses. Throw in Efren Ramirez and Gillian Jacobs (NBC’s Community) and you’ve got a winner.

That’s why I dig it when guys step up to have a little bit of fun.  Gollum, a character from J. R. R. Tolkien’s ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy, isn’t a troll but the groom at this wedding sure is!

Just when the wedding at the point where the bride and groom exchange rings we get a bit of a treat in the form of a rather unique ring keeper.

Let Don Cheadle (Oceans 11-13) introduce you to the new amazing resort and spa for you called Sacks West. Frequent guests of the resort include George Lopez, Ray Romano, Joe Mantegna, Cedric the Entertainer, Larenz Tate, Haley Joel Osment, Cheech Marin, Oliver Hudson, Dylan O’Brien and many, many more.

Personally, I think it’s worth it just to watch the “Testiculum” show but there’s no denying the ball sack treatment is top notch.

Nothing, I tell you.

Darn cartoons. Lying to me.

Bowden is the sexy yet dimwitted Cerie on “30 Rock” and is known for showing up only every 4 episodes and wearing less clothes each time. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing but they might want to increase her appearances.

In fact, I think the crew at TGS needs to head to the islands soon so we can get more of Katrina Bowden in a bikini!

It also turns out that Katrina Bowden is a bit of a nerd. If you think that Katrina Bowden is your dream girl you might want to watch this video first. She likes nerds but keeps them to a high standard.

Uggg….Sienna Miller and her Jeggings

If you, or someone you know, is wearing Jeggings please report them to the Fashion Police. There’s no law (yet) about these hideous things but there should be. I think Ron Paul was talking about banning them. Or requiring them by law for prostitutes to wear while selling “H” on the street corner. Hard to tell, I don’t pay too much attention to the news.

Oh yeah, video is totally NSFW!

“Crabwalkin” is quick and easy and perfect for the five-second film genera.  However, I wouldn’t mind seeing a full-length feature film come out of this bit.

It’s rare that a film comes along and moves me so much but this is one of those moments. Beautifully shot, beautifully acted, and beautifully written. This epic movie should be shipped immediately to the Smithsonian for all of mankind to cherish forever and also be required viewing for all film students. Enjoy!

Crabwalkin’ from 5-Second Films on Vimeo.

Thus began a feud between two powerful families of pure hearts and proud walks, a feud as inevitable as the setting of the sun and the icing of the balls.

Getting the chance to enter the shower with a lovely lady for some hot, wet sexy time is a great honor. Most guys dream about the opportunity but just getting in there and rubbing all over a lady with soap isn’t what it’s all about. There are lots of other things to take into consideration like junk you left in the tub and whether you will slip and fall.

Personally, if I’m gonna go out in this world I can think of worst things than my obit reading ‘slipped while porking a hot chick in the shower.’ It sure beats what the psychic said about my fate but luckily I will make sure to never, ever have sex with a toaster…..again.

At least that’s what I’ve been told. I know I have a tough time not laughing at fart and poop jokes. And who doesn’t. Except those prudes.

Look around you. Everything has the potential to poop. Here’s a video for proof.

The odd lady dressed like a big bumblebee on the subway tries to enjoy her sulfate-riddled meat tube but has trouble staying awake.  Or maybe she’s just drunk.

Who knows but when you’re not in your right mind those hot dogs can be awful tricky.

Luckily she found the hot dog on the clean subway floor.

It didn’t go too far and with the 30-second rule all’s good.

The Pledge of Allegiance has changed a lot over the years.

I may not have the best memory thanks to all those drops to the head, mainly when I was in school and banging my head on the desk out of boredom, but I don’t seem to remember some of this.

The Whitest Kids U Know show us what the Pledge looks like in our schools today. Spot on.