An organization of Bigfoot hunters is on the ropes as biased reporters from around the world close their minds on the findings of the long, lost Sasquatch. The benevolent heroes of the moment are Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer of Georgia who have the strongest evidence ever produced on the existence of the mysterious and mythical Bigfoot.

The North American long-haired Yeti (Uberuglious Rosieodonnellious) , commonly known as “Bigfoot,” has for decades been spotted by valiant citizens like Dyer and Whitton. However, due to the shy nature of Bigfoot, the evidence supporting the existence of the wild creature has been continually met with closed minds and doubt.

The international community collectively held their breath Friday waiting for news from Whitton and Dyer after the savage Bigfoot was captured by the noble duo in Georgia. After having offered a press conference full of details and the potential for DNA evidence of a North American Yeti, the back stabbing reporters immediately violated their ethics and morals by questioning the validity of Whitton and Dyer’s on their Bigfoot find.

The chivalrous pair of Bigfoot hunters stood valiantly against a barrage of skepticism and ignorance. Meanwhile, the corporate media was maintaining a blackout of ‘the grand evidence’ on the Bigfoot of Georgia. When they did finally report on it, they were as usual telling the story backwards with headlines such as “Stupid Bigfoot found in Georgia” and “They Have Found Bigfoot”,…or so they say as though Whitton and Dyer had fabricated the entire event.

A large part of the discovery of Bigfoot has been the frozen body of the beast kept along with five squirrels and a possum in a cooler by the noble Bigfoot hunters. CNN reports that more than 1,600 people have claimed to have seen, found, or been molested by Bigfoot in the past 24 years yet no physical evidence was ever gathered other than a few blurry pieces of media and some casts of footprints. There are also many false reports among news makers and the bloated media that has made it difficult for Whitton and Dyer to prove their stellar findings. Most people have already made up their minds about the discovery without properly viewing the findings.

Relating what has become common practice among cowardly media outlets, CNN field reporter James Krackcorn reported: “This Georgian Bigfoot expedition has come under fire for good reason. Doubt is growing among the media, and the number of fake reports are increasing. There are reports of staged Bigfoot sightings… The situation is ripe for parody.”

So at long last, Whitton and Dyer, the providers of actuality and facts about Bigfoot in a sea of dissident, have moved in to push back the skeptics and provide concrete data and the existence of Bigfoot. An elite Bigfoot tracking unit has also arrived in the Georgian capital of Atlanta to help search the North Georgia woods for remaining Bigfoot colonies. They will support their brothers Dyer and Whitton who have come under heavy fire from foul reporters who seek nothing more than to disprove facts.